when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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