Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
