DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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