I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
