dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize