Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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