shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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