Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
