I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize