I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
