Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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