Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
