Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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