For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
