He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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