threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
