don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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