ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Randomize
