no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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