your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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