Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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