it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
