I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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