I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
