i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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