i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
im six kinds of drunk right now
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Four minutes until I can fart!
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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