i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
