I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
it's great music for shaving your balls
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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