He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
