i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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