Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
