Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
