Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
