East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize