Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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