i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
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As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
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He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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