He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just invented taco cereal.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
