It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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