As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
