i wish my penis had a tongue
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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