Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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