I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
