I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Randomize
