its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
