ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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