He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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