maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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