he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
