CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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