I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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