this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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