I must be too annoying 4 u.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
