Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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