Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
