Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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