Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
