Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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