so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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