And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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