she woke up with a sticky ear
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Farmville is her only friend.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
