well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
