apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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